Saturday 17 April 2010

12.12 p.m

Hi…this is 12.12 p.m . it's almost 00.00 a.m in the tomorrow morning. All right, as you know that there’s something wrong when I’m writing. Yes, writing is one my ways out to relief my pain! When friends don’t exist, when coffee doesn’t work, even when some DVDs mean nothing, one way that I will do is writing. Every word falling to this untouchable sheet is my feeling. I just watched the movie, “My name is Khan”. It is very highly recommended by some of my friends because, as they told me, it is very touching. Almost of them were crying when watching it. I even ever got a friend of Nury when we were on the angkot and she was with her swollen eyes because of watching that kinda touching movie. SOBBING! Me? Instead of falling the tears, I even didn’t get my starry eyed! What’s wrong with me? Am I crappy? Am I? ow, I think I’m still normal!

I don’t what’s wrong inside of me, moreover why it lasts longer? I just don’t want this stay longer in me! Perhaps, what my friend said is true that the big problem is “I am very so lonesome!”. He additionally said that I had to move from this dormitory to another one because I can share to my neighbor my problems out. Yes, he was right! I have to be tough; I must stand by my own power, effort, and struggle! So please don’t blame me if in this time I have myself hard to get my smile cracked! I try very very hard to keep smiling but some of my friends said that I have to smile a lot! Oh, again, I don’t know about this but smiling includes behavioral and mental process so it is hard for me! Maybe, I have to build my interpersonal intelligences!
P.S: yes, maybe it’s time for me to have someone that I totally care about!

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